Baby Junk

The world of babies can easily drain your bank account if you let it.

There are things that are marketed as "musts" for new moms and children. Somehow, their absence didn't cause any pain & suffering before they were invented.

I am always thinking about ways to simplify life for my own personal sanity, so Tim and I decided to draw the line when it came to certain baby items. We are nixing some because we flat out can't afford it (or don't think it's worth the money), and others because we just don't see the point. Feel free to disagree. This is just one pregnant lady's notion of what we are willing to live without.

1. Wipes Warmer

Sure, we want our baby's bum to be comfortable at all times, but we are taking a different route with wipes. Along with our reusable cloth diapers, we're doing reusable cloth wipes! Stack of soft washcloths, DIY backside cleaning solution in a spray bottle... done. Throw them in the wash along with the cloth diapers and throw them back on the clean pile. We do not think our baby will be scarred for life without an above-room-temperature hiney.

2. Designer Baby Room Furniture

The prices of some cribs make me want to vomit. They are more than one of my paychecks! Sorry, kid, as long as it's sturdy and meets current safety specs, it'll do. I'd like to see the study that says baby's sleep better in a $1,200 crib vs. a $100 crib.


[Mariah Carey's baby's room. Let's add that ginormous giraffe to the list, too.]

3. Diaper Genie

When you cloth diaper, you usually do laundry everyday. Dirty diapers go in a wet bag (waterproof bag that zippers & hangs on the back of a door) and then right into the washing machine. No big plastic bin that takes up space and requires refills. No stinky situation created by week-old diapers.

4. Changing Table

I'm talking about a separate changing table that doesn't serve any other purpose. We plan on using a small Ikea dresser with a changing pad on top. Two birds, one stone.


[The wasted space is killing me.]

5. Bumbo Seat

I've gone back and forth on this one, and decided that I'm only getting one if it's free or less than $10 at a resale shop. They retail for $40! It's a freakin' piece of molded plastic. I get it, your baby can sit up and see what's going on. But my cynical side says, "Clearly babies were happy, healthy and learned to sit on their own before the invention of the Bumbo seat." Who knows, maybe I'll end up getting one and loving it.

6. Diaper Stacker

Baby's top dresser drawer will be filled with 15 or so cloth diapers. We won't need to store stacks of disposable diapers anywhere... or bulk boxes of them either. Win-win.

7. Rocking Chair/Glider

We are sticking with the Ikea Poang chair that we already have. It kinda-sorta rocks/bounces. Those big, bulky gliders look so old fashioned and awful to me. Not to mention we don't have room for one. We will, however, be updating the Poang with a new $29 neutral-colored cushion (it currently has a bright red one).

8. Bottle Warmer

Most of the time, Baby Annan will be getting milk straight from the source, so we won't need a bottle warmer. If Mommy isn't around, there's the good old microwave (since we're using glass bottles) or the really good old pot of shallow water on the stove!

9. Pacifier Wipes

Okay, now this one is just straight up dumb. Rinse it off with warm water. Your kid crawls on the ground where it was most likely dropped and puts everything in his mouth. He'll be fine.

10. Bottle Sterilizer

We already have one. It's called the dishwasher.


[Bottle sterilizer, aka, counter space taker-upper.]

11. Alcohol Test Strips

I actually saw this on Kourtney & Khloe take Miami. Kourtney was out getting hammered drunk at a club, then came home and had to pump. She tested her breastmilk for alcohol with these special strips and dumped it out until it was back to normal. My solution? Don't get hammered drunk. However, after talking with my Mom who raised three healthy children, a glass of wine or two while nursing won't cause any harm.

[You're still my favorite celebrity mom, Kourt!]

12. New Baby Swing

Emphasis on new. I've heard from a lot of moms that their child didn't like certain swings, but you don't know that until it's paid for and assembled. I like the idea of a swing, but didn't want to waste a ton of money on one, so I bought a used swing in great condition from a nice lady on Craigslist... for 5 bucks. It retails for $130. Talk about a sweet deal. Now if Baby Annan hates it, I won't feel too bad about it.

Do any Moms out there agree? Disagree?

If I'm totally crazy and you desperately needed something on this list, by all means, tell me!

If there are any items I missed that I shouldn't waste my time on, I want to know.

I live by the 7 P's. Poor prior preparation promotes piss poor performance.

P #8 might be practicality. Or pure awesomeness.

Okay, I'm done now.