Post-partum: 5 things no one tells you

Before you have a baby, you hear a lot of: “It’s life changing!” “Enjoy every moment!”

No one tells you: “You’ll feel like a mental patient!” “You’ll bleed like a gunshot victim!”

So I’m just going to be honest and tell you five things I was not expecting after I gave birth. Even though we took an in-depth childbirth class at The Birth Center, I feel that the information we were provided was extremely sugar-coated. Most likely to not scare us silly, which I can appreciate, but looking back, I wish someone was a straight shooter with me about a few things.

This is based on vaginal childbirth. So for people who are having a scheduled c-section, your experiences may vary.

*Warning: TMI ahead*

1. Blood. So much blood. I actually think gunshot victims bleed less than women who give birth vaginally. And I’m not even talking about hemorrhaging,I’m talking about normal post-partum bleeding. Before your due date, go to the feminine hygiene aisle of Target and buy 4-5 large packs of maxi pads – all different sizes. Then, steal every single pad from the hospital that enters your line of sight. When you nurse, hormones will make your uterus contract and you’ll feel a gush. When you stand up from a seated position, you will feel a gush. If you overexert yourself, you will feel a gush. Prepare yourself and don’t wear any cute underwear for at least 2 weeks. (The good news? Flynn is almost 8 months old and I still haven’t gotten my period back.)

2. You may not want anyone to hold your baby. Family & friends will want to visit sooner than you'd like them to and “give you a break” by holding your baby. While this is well-intentioned, I just want to warn you that you may not want anyone else to hold your baby. In fact, you may feel like punching whoever is holding your baby in the face. This was the case for me in the first week or so after we brought Flynn home. When my parents, my sister-in-law and my in-laws were holding Flynn, I felt an intense surge of RAGE pulsing through my body. This has got to be some sort of primal urge of a mother to protect her young because I have no other explanation. Tim could hold him all he wanted and I was fine with it, but when anyone else did, I wanted to grab Flynn and run away. (On a brighter note: most visitors will bring food and that is the most helpful gesture in the world to new parents.)

3. Control over your bodily functions may disappear for a short period of time. I felt all around disgusting in the weeks after giving birth. I had an episiotomy at the last minute because Flynn’s big old head wouldn’t budge after 3 hours of pushing, and that whole “area” was greatly affected by the incision (and tearing). Not only are there stitches in your nether-region, but the muscles that hold in pee, poop & farts take a vacation. Seriously, haven’t we been through enough already?! Not only do you have to be concerned about a gush of blood when you move suddenly, but also accidentally letting one rip. (Thankfully, any visitors will be too enthralled by your baby’s cuteness to notice that you just sharted and if all else fails, blame the dog.)

4. Speaking of pooping… you won’t be doing that for a while. Not without being terrified at least. While you’re at Target stocking up on maxi pads, hunt down the stool softeners. I wasn’t prepared for this and had to make an emergency trip at Rite Aid a few days after we brought Flynn home. It’s a real pain in the ass (pun intended) because you gotta go and yet you’re scared sh*tless (I am on a roll) that you’re going to rip a few stitches out with the slightest bit of exertion. Worst.feeling.ever.

5. You’ll wonder if this was all a huge mistake. After the frozen lasagna is gone, your husband goes back to work and you’re on your own with a newborn, you will wonder if you’re ready to be a mother. There were moments when I wished Flynn was never born. And then I’d beat myself up for thinking something so horrible. I’d yell at the dog or Tim because I was feeling overwhelmed and only sleeping for 2 hours at a time. Flynn would wake up and want to nurse and I would start crying because I had just fallen back to sleep. Looking back I know it was just the “baby blues,” but it felt more like the baby crazies. I didn’t feel sad - I felt completely insane! One night when I was nursing Flynn in bed, I couldn’t see him very well in the dark and I started getting really pissed off at this needy, faceless creature (that’s how irrational my thinking was at 3 am). He peed through his diaper and after I finished feeding him, I carried him into his room feeling extremely angry & unhinged. I turned on the light to see what I was doing and as soon as I saw his precious little face looking at me, those awful feelings disappeared. Things got better from then on, and whenever I was up in the middle of the night, I would make sure I could see his face (thanks flashlight app!) and I felt completely at peace.

Note: There is a big difference between the baby blues and postpartum depression. You can read about both here: http://www.urbanmommies.com/pregnancy-2/the-baby-blues-vs-post-partum-depression-how-to-tell-the-difference/

Has anyone else been through what I detailed above? What were you unprepared for after (or while) you gave birth?

Still Cookin'

Just to answer your questions up front: Yes, I'm still pregnant. True, I could "go" any day now. No, I'm still not ready.

What does "ready" even mean?  Ready to stop wearing maternity pants that give me a permanant wedgie? Yes. Ready to stop waking up at 3am with burning acid reflux? You bet. Ready to not cry inside everytime I weigh myself? Naturally.

But am I really ready for the mental and physical anguish of childbirth and raising a child for 18+ years? Absolutely not! No one's ever ready for that... no matter how much they convince themselves they are. But guess what, we women realize that it's a necessary evil if we want the human race to live on. So we make sacrafices.

Here are some 38 week preggo tidbits for you. Consider this your verbal dose of birth control for the day.

Your weight gain will horrify you. I don't care what the breakdown is for how much the extra blood and placenta weighs. IT SUCKS. I'll tell you how much I gained. 38 pounds. I've heard, "Oh, that's nothing, my sister's friend gained 60!" It doesn't matter how much you gain. Going from your normal starting weight to anything above that feels terrible and unnatural.

Your pregnancy will annoy people. A lot of people will act like a-holes towards you for a number of reasons. I've concluded that all of these reasons point back to jealousy. They wish they could get pregnant and can't/they wish they'd had kids and are now too old. They think you're getting special treatment. They think you're going to quit your job and never come back (and secretly want to do the same). They are generally miserable about life and hate when others are happy, but only because they long to be happy and can't. They visualize you giving birth and it grosses them out (but secretly want to know what it's like).

The little kicks that you first thought were "special" will eventually bruise your ribs and make any position you try to sit/lay in unbearable. You will curse your unborn child. You will wish you never got pregnant in the first place. You'll hear a news story about some woman leaving her child on a doorstep with a note pinned to his onesie and for a split second... have a hard time condemning her.

A lot of medical advice you receive is based on NOTHING. You'll hear a lot of the following gibberish: "Well, we don't know if it's bad or not, so just don't do it." Mmm k, doc. Whatever you say. One turkey hoagie, please...

You will lie to your doctor/midwife. It's uncontrollable. You'll lie about your diet. You'll lie about drinking alcohol. You'll lie about your weight. There will just come a time when you don't feel like hearing shit, and you'll lie. Blame it on the hormones and move on.

Wedding day v. A few weeks ago (who looks happier?)

I've also come to the conclusion that just because other people's kids make me cringe, that it doesn't mean I will be a horrible mother. Tim and I were watching the new show on Animal Planet called "Puppies v. Babies". What happens is they show you a clip of a baby doing something cute and then a video of a puppy or kitten doing something cute, and then you have to decide which is cuter.

In my mind, the puppy or kitten always won.

Pregnant on Halloween

Halloween is really a let down when you're knocked up. Every other female is dressed as a sexy insert noun here (pirate, cat, police officer, french maid). So you have two options: completely bare your stomach or completely cover it up. I have no artistic ability so painting my stomach was out. It's freezing cold here. And I didn't feel like spending money on a maternity costume (yes, they exist).

So I went with the second option and donned a giant Mexican poncho. FAIL. Instead of looking pregnant, I just looked fat. Let's just say there was a lot of unnecessary belly rubbing to show people that hey, there's a baby in here, I didn't just let myself go.

Tim basically wore his same clothes and pulled off being a lumberjack quite well! The suspenders are my dads and the rabbit-fur lined hat was his Valentine's Day gift last year from some awesome lady he's married to. (I got a bamboo cutting board from Crate & Barrel. Way better than flowers!)

Will I break out the fishnets & corset next year? Probably not. I'll be too busy making a costume for Baby A and people will forgive me for not dressing up because he'll look so adorable. Or maybe the Mexican poncho will make another appearance. It would work pretty well as a nursing cover...

Tests, Protocols & Waivers

It's obvious by now that my husband and I aren't going the "usual" route when it comes to having a baby. Our decision to put my prenatal care and delivery in the hands of certified nurse midwives, instead of doctors, has been questioned by many. "Are you sure that's safe?" No, I'm going to purposely put my life and the life of my child in danger.

Every decision we've made thus far has been in the best interest of our baby. And aside from choosing a birth center, there have been many other decisions that we've needed to make. Since I'm a bit of an oversharer, allow me to indulge you!

1) Genetic testing. When you go to your first appointment (mine was around 9 weeks), there is a slew of testing that's offered. If you want, you can find out right from the start if your baby has any genetic disorders or other things like Down syndrome. I knew that I wanted to opt out of as many of these screenings as possible. A) Tim and I have no family history of these conditions; B) We are both well under the age of 35, and yeah, I'm bragging about it (haha); and C) If it was determined our baby had some type of disorder, we wouldn't consider terminating the pregnancy anyways. Waiver, please!

Of course, I had the routine blood test for STD's, Hepatitis B, blood type & Rh factor. All were fine and I am Rh positive (which is good), so no further action was needed.

2) Ultrasounds. The birth center's opinion is that ultrasounds do not lead to better birth outcomes, therefore, they don't recommend that you get any if everything is progressing normally. We decided to just get one at 20 weeks to find out the sex of the baby. That was our choice and we were glad we did it!


Hey, little dude!

However, a protocol snuck up on us. Yes, even hippy dippy birth centers have them. It was determined from this 20 week ultrasound that my placenta was low, which can be VERY bad if it stays that way. They recommended I come back at 28 weeks for a follow-up ultrasound. I was not pleased, especially after reading that this "low placenta" condition is extremely common and clears up on its own 99% of the time. If I would have never gotten an ultrasound, this would have never been an issue. I presented my reasoning to my midwife and asked if I could skip the second ultrasound. She said "Sorry, no can do."
The next time around I will probably skip ultrasounds altogether, now that I know that wanting just one can lead to more. Luckily, my placenta moved up (as it usually does) and no further testing was needed.

3) Hep B Vaccine. The birth center does not offer this vaccine at birth like hospitals do, and that's fine with us because we're waiving it. I don't have Hepatitis B and I doubt my newborn is going to be shooting up with dirty needles in the alley way, so for now, that's one less needle prick on his first day in the outside world. It's a disease usually contracted later in life, so if he wants to get it one day, he can do so. We just don't feel that it's necessary on Day 1.

4) Vitamin K. We have the option of the Vitamin K shot or giving it to our baby orally. I can't tell you how many times I went back and forth on this one! It's pretty vital as it promotes proper blood clotting and since babies can go through some pretty traumatic things on their way out, we didn't want to risk our newborn bleeding to death. But I am just naturally wary of all types of injections, so I discussed the oral dosage option with a few different midwives at multiple appointments. The consensus was that they thought the shot was best and easiest. The only thing in the jab is a synthetic form of Vitamin K (which annoys me, but whatever). No fillers or other weird stuff though. The birth center waits a few hours to give it, so mom & baby get to rest and establish a bond. They told me the oral dosage is difficult, babies hate it, and it has to be done multiple times the week after birth. While it sounds more gentle than an injection, it would be one more thing to worry about after I left the birth center. So we're gonna stick it to him. Sorry, little guy.


I'm also going to make sure I include a lot of K-rich foods in my diet
so it's passed through my breast milk.

5) Antibiotic Eye Ointment. It's standard protocol in hospitals these days, but does it have to be? The purpose of the ointment is to protect a newborn from contracting an eye infection due to the mom having gonorrhea and/or chlamydia. So, if you know you don't have either of these STD's, your baby doesn't need his or her eyes all gooped up with ointment right after birth. I read up on this, asked my midwife if I could waive it, and she said all I needed was an extra culture done towards the end of my pregnancy to verify that I was STD free. I did. It came up negative. I filled out a little form and boom, my baby doesn't need this intervention. It's amazing what just asking about something can do!

6) Group B Strep. Another protocol the birth center follows, and for good reason. If you test positive, you need 2 rounds of antibiotics during labor. Luckily, I tested negative for this bad boy which means two things. If my water breaks early, I have a full 24 hours to go into active labor before pitocin is required, and if I go into active labor before my water breaks, I don't have to go to the birth center early for antibiotics. I can labor in the comfort of home for a longer period of time. I'm really excited. It's the small victories at this point, I guess :-)

7) Circumcision. This has been a hot topic in the news lately, mainly in San Francisco. Yes, we will be getting our little boy circumcised. Yes, we've done the research and weighed the pros and cons. I left the decision up to my husband and that's that!

8) Hospital Freebies. By going to the birth center, Tim and I are also "waiving" all the fun hospital freebies we've been hearing about. Everyone says make sure you grab tons of this and that before you leave! Well, the birth center doesn't really work like that. When I go into labor, I'm required to bring a lot of things with me that a hospital would normally provide. Example) They don't give you a hospital gown. You wear whatever you want, like an oversized t-shirt or nightgown. Also, it's BYOP. Bring your own pads. And food. And beverages. And anything else you want. Of course, they have all the necessary medical supplies - it's not like I'm going to give birth in a cave. They just don't have agreements with big companies that give out thousands of samples like hospitals do. You definitely won't be going home with any formula samples, either. They are very pro-breastfeeding. In fact, I think Question #1 at my first appointment was, "Are you planning on breastfeeding?"

If you want to be fancy, Etsy sellers have homemade hospital gowns!

So there are our choices & testing outcomes all laid out for you. I LOVE the fact that we were able to opt out of things we didn't feel were necessary. For two leos, having control makes us moewy happy. Yes, I just said that.

Craigslist Finds & Hand-Me-Downs

Baby's can be very expensive... if you let them. I'm personally not going to let my greedy infant nickel & dime me for the first few years of his life. The jig is up, kid.

Don't let Babies 'R Us and their lively, purple circulars lure you in. 15% off of $179 is not a good deal for a baby swing. It's practically criminal. Your baby is going to use that swing for what, 6 months? Sometimes baby's don't even like certain swings, and by the time you realize that, it's too late to return it.

Yes, you'll have a baby shower, but in my experience, most guests spend around $50-$75 (unless it's grandma, then the sky is the limit!). So while your friends & family step up to shower you and baby with love, they're probably on a budget just like you.

If you've never experienced the thrill of scoring deals in consignment shops and on Craigslist, you're missing out, friend. From the time I announced I was pregnant, my Mom and I have been tirelessly scouring the internet and local high-end baby consignment shops... and we made out like bandits.

I didn't keep track of all the clothing we got because frankly, there was just too much of it. However, it seemed like every day my Mom would text me a picture of some brand new set of onesies or an adorable sleep sack that she found for $3. We also ended up with a huge moving box packed with newborn, 0-3 and 3-6 month baby boy clothes fo' free, thanks to a generous family at my parents church who recently had twins. Then, there were a few things I found on Craigslist, like a fuzzy brown Columbia jacket for $1, pants that were 3 for $1 and a few more sleep sacks for $1 each. Everything was used for maybe 3 months (tops) and in fantastic condition. Considering these things *new* would have been $10-$20 each, we were pretty pumped, and often said aloud, "Why don't more people do this?"

What We Got & What We Paid

(Everything listed below was either new or gently used.

Nothing smelled weird, had stains on it, and everything was in working condition.)

• First Years bottle warmer ($5, Craigslist)
• Crib mattress cover ($5, Craigslist, never opened)
• Changing pad ($1, Craigslist)
• JJ Cole Bundle Me ($10, Craigslist)
• Kolcraft Crib Mattress ($20, Craigslist, used 2 times at Grandma's house)
• Fisher Price Bouncy Seat ($15, Craigslist)
• Graco Swingomatic, 6 speeds, plays classical music ($5!! Yes, FIVE BUCKS, Craigslist)





• Graco Pack n' Play w/ bassinet, changing table, mobile, vibrates, plays nature sounds & classical music ($51, Butterflies & Blossoms Consignment Shop)





• Giant Box of Baby Clothes (FREE; also included receiving blankets, prenatal workout DVD's, hats, socks, shoes, an infant head/body support, picture frame & changing table organizer)

Then, because I'm lucky enough to have two awesome sisters-in-law who are done having kids and like savings things, we received/will receive the following items:

• Childproofing accessories & baby gates
• Baby Bjorn carrier
• Car mirror
• Changing pad
• Swaddling blankets
• Crib sheet
• Hooded towels
• High chair
• Boppy
• Dishwasher basket
• Baby spoons
• Exersaucer
• 2 different play mats
• Bouncy seat
• Clothes
• Toys/Stuffed Animals/Teething Rings
• Books

We even ended up with doubles of a few items (like changing pads, bouncy seats & play mats). They are going to my Mom's house for when she babysits.

Additionally, my sister-in-law (who conveniently lives 10 minutes away) literally has a small toy store in her basement and gave us the okay to "shop" there anytime.

Sweet deals, right? I still can't get over the five dollar swing. I love sharing the joys of thrifting and hope it catches on!

3 months later...

Oh yeah, I have a blog... totally forgot about that! Just kidding. I didn't forget. Blogger's format got all screwy and I couldn't figure out how to do anything and I've been super duper busy. It's still weird, and I don't even know how this post is going to look, but I just wanted to let you know I'm baaaaack. Let's see. Still married. Still pregnant. Still have a dog (who is HUGE, btw). Due in less than 2 months. INSANITY!

I'm so excited to blog about being a mamacita and all the parenting decisions we're making (at least the semi-non-personal ones). We're working on the baby's room, taking childbirth classes and I've even started packing my bags for when we head off to the birth center! Well, hopefully to the birth center, if Baby Annan cooperates. I can't wait to spill the beans on his name as well! So many fun things lie ahead. But first, I need to grab a snack because it's 11am and that's the official universal pregnant-lady snack time.

My grapes & pretzels await!

At a wedding in September with my cutie pie husband

On the beach in August @ 28 weeks



Indy, 5 months old

A Name

Yes, Baby A has a name.

Are we telling?

Nope!

Instead, we're just going to keep torturing our family & friends until November.

Here are some of the names we considered, but ultimately didn't go with.

William

Oliver

Ryder
Colin

Taylor

Cameron

Benjamin

Brody

John

Don't get me wrong, these are lovely names! And who knows, if we have another boy down the road, he could very well have one of them. But we picked something unique & uncommon for our first little love.

In time, my friends, in time.

Have a fun & safe 4th of July weekend!

Baby A's Site

Baby Annan/Boredom implored me to create a baby website.

So without further adieu...

http://babyannan.ourbabychannel.com/

Tweet This!

Step aside, Anthony Weiner.

He's not even born yet, so it's not scandalous to post pics of my boy's man-parts online. Or so I've decided! We were excited beyond belief to see that little thingy dangling between our babe's legs on the ultrasound screen. (To the left of where it says "BOY").

[20 weeks]

Here is another shot of the little dude who's been kicking me for the past few weeks.

Check out that big ole' head!

His body's got some catching up to do.

It would have been equally awesome to have a girl, but we are thrilled it's a boy. I grew up with 2 brothers and my husband is a guy (obvi), so he naturally knows the routine.

Here are some little boy things we're excited for:

- Matchbox cars/toy trucks

-Army men/camo/playing war

-Nerf everything

-Toy weapons/the ability to make anything into a weapon

- Teaching him to pee outside (not in public)

- Cutting his hair myself (buzzzzz)

- Not having to buy accessories like hair clips & tights

- Dressing him like Daddy

- Watching him romp around with the dog

- The energy that little boys have! It's just different from girls & that's a fact.

- Buying him a little lacrosse stick (like his Mommy)

- Buying him a little guitar (like his Daddy)

- Threatening to kill him if he gets a girl pregnant

- Glaring down any trampy girls that come around... make that any girls in general

- Watching him team up with his only boy cousin to torment his 5 girl cousins

- His first ER visit (it's inevitable)

- Building tree houses

-Making him kiss me goodbye in front of his friends... when he's 16

- Free lawn mowing for life

[He wanted to wear pink this morning. He told me.]

To: Meg, From: Meg

As you probably know, I referee girls' lacrosse and I love it. I basically get paid to watch lax and exercise. About a week before I found out I was pregnant, I started to get in shape for the upcoming season by running (like I always do) and continuing to run and referee through the Spring helped with my nausea tremendously. I've been reading about all the benefits of running for mom & baby, and it's something I want to continue doing through my ninth month. Sounds crazy and I'm not even sure how I'm going to haul around a giant belly, but I'm putting my mind to it in the hopes that my labor, delivery & recovery will be a breeze. Or at least a small tornado...

I'm refereeing in an upcoming tournament and I won't lie, I'm gonna be making some major bucks. Half of it will go towards the iPhone 4 I was "forced" to buy this past weekend (dropped my other one on grass?! yes, grass, and the screen shattered). The other half of my earnings are going towards some new running gear to keep me motivated. Also because my feet flattened out due to pregnancy hormones and my running shoes barely fit. I'm talking toes rubbing up against the front. Not cool.

Here is what I'm gifting to myself for a job well done.

(Yep, I already know I'm gonna rock that tournament... and if not, well, I get paid regardless.)

[Nike LunarFly's from Zappos.com]

[For Two Fitness]

[Nike running shorts]



I may be running slow towards the end, but at least I'll look good doing it.

Half Baked

Our bun in the oven is almost halfway done!

I am 16 weeks along and feeling fab.

[That's my tired morning face. It goes away eventually.]

Baby A is the size of an avocado, moving around like crazy (although I can't feel more than a slight flutter every now and then) and can HEAR! How crazy is that?

I heard his or her heartbeat at my last appointment and am very excited for my husband to experience that awesomeness at my appointment on June 1st.

It's pretty miraculous and really gives you a different perspective on the whole situation. It's not just about how I'M feeling anymore... I do everything for that little heartbeat! Including foregoing dessert in favor of fruit, which is actually pretty sweet. Pun intended.

Not much else has changed. I get up in the middle of the night 2-3 times to pee. I think random children standing at bus stops are adorable. My mom and I scour Craigslist for deals on baby stuff. (And OH the deals we've found!) I have tons of energy and feel pretty darn great most of the time. This pregnancy is treating me well.

My husband is the cutest. He rubs my belly and says precious things like, "I can't wait to meet you!"

Me neither!

Butttt... I'm glad we have 5 more months to prepare. And sleep. And lay on the couch after dinner watching American Idol.

Snack Attack

I've always had a cheetah-like metabolism, but since I've had a baby inside me who's been stealing all my nutrients, I've been crazy hungry day and night. I gave in to some cravings early on to keep myself from vomiting (never did, by the way, I just love bragging about that!) but now I'm buckling down and making sure my snacks in-between meals are both filling and healthy.


[An everyday lunch during work.]

Clearly gaining weight is essential during pregnancy, but I'd like to stay in the 25-35 lb. range, which is what is recommended for my starting weight and body type.

These snacks are in my kitchen right now.

(Warning: I may start drooling as I type...)

Greek Yogurt

(Chobani lemon & pomegranate are my favs)

Roasted Cashews

Pistachios

(great for prime time TV munching)

Bananas & Peanut Butter

Granny Smith Apples

(tart & never mealy)

Strawberries

(rinse & enjoy plain)

Oranges

(you'll feel like you're playing pee wee soccer again)

Cheese & Whole Wheat Crackers

Avocados

(with a sprinkle of sea salt or squeeze of lime)

Pretzels

(look for the fewest ingredients possible)

Olives

(very high in sodium, so watch that)

PB&J Sandwiches

(homemade jelly courtesy of the Amish)

Have I broken down and raided the snack machine at work for Peanut M&M's? Heck yes! Life without chocolate would be a miserable existence. But no, I don't do that everyday. Or even every week. I still drink a cup of coffee every morning. Full caffeine. And eat fish often. And I accidentally breathed in paint fumes while I was refinishing a mirror over the weekend. Whoops... sorry, baby.

At least I'm acing the exercise part!

Reffing a lacrosse tournament in June when I'm 18 weeks and another one in July when I'm 22 weeks. I wonder what Baby Annan will make of all the whistle-blowing?

Why getting a puppy while pregnant is not as crazy as you think

I've noticed a phenomenon. Or maybe it's just another annoyance of being pregnant. Yes, I have a lot of them already, and they mainly deal with the opinions of other people. As soon as you get pregnant, people act like anything "else" you want to do should wait. Because you know, pregnant women are incapable of doing anything other than sitting around and knitting baby booties. Sarcasm...

[Knitting... and knitting... and knitting... and knitting... Pee Wee's Big Adventure? Anyone?]

When Tim and I got engaged, we agreed that as soon as we were able (location-wise, money-wise) that we would get a dog. In February, simultaneously, we found out we were having a baby and we were offered a great house to rent that allowed pets. Finally!

Well, as soon as we mentioned this aloud, the debbie downers chimed in. Your getting a dog AND having a baby AND you just moved? You're crazy! No real explanation for this was given. Just that we were crazy. Interesting.

(For her peace of mind, I'm not talking about my Mom who brought up the valid point of expensive vet visits. That's actually a legitimate reason to not get a pet and she has experienced this with multiple cats. Between gear, food and shots, they are very pricey and we factored this into our decision and our budget.)

It's my natural instinct to prove naysayers wrong, so I decided to brainstorm a little listeroo of why getting a puppy while pregnant is not crazy at all. Why, actually... it's awesome!

[Our puppy on the way!]

1. It is a great distraction from pregnancy. Honestly, it's not mentally sound to get too wrapped up in something for too long. I got sick of reading baby books within the first month. Being focused solely on what's happening in my b0dy for 9 months would be maddening. Now I am reading about puppies, what kind of food is best for what breed, how to crate train, etc. It's fun and it takes my mind off of all the things that could go wrong during child birth.

2. We want a pet that is comfortable around children, and we want children who are comfortable around animals... and learn how to care for and respect them. If we get a puppy now, we get both of these things. Our dog and baby will grow up together, and we think that's just adorable. We also think it's important that our kids understand death. I know this sounds morbid, but it's a good lesson in the value of life. Dogs don't live forever, and explaining it will be heartwrenching, but it's something that kids are frankly better off not be shielded from. They need to know that it's a part of life and it's something you will get through eventually. I knew allllll about kitty heaven when I was little and it did not scar me for life.

3. We want to post hilarious youtube videos of our baby and our puppy interacting. America's Funniest Home Videos... here we come!

4. Playing with and walking a dog is great exercise for pregnant women. At 8 months pregnant, I probably won't want to move my big butt off the couch. But if there's a cute little puppy whining to go for a walk... I'll have to get up & get moving! You can't say no to that face.

5. Caring for a puppy is the perfect practice for my husband to care for an infant. I'm not demaning him, he's just never had a pet before. Obviously, he can't stick food in a bowl for an infant and let it poop outside, but just the responsiveness and selflessness that owning a pet teaches will be extremely helpful. I'm sure we'll be playing quite a few rounds of "rock-paper-scissors" for who gets to change a diaper vs. who gets to take the dog out.

6. Labrador retrievers (which is the breed we're getting) are great "alert" dogs. Not great guard dogs because of their friendly nature towards strangers, but they will alert you if they hear a sound, which is very reassuring.

People who've been in our situation (baby + puppy) have told us it's not hard... and actually a lot of fun. Life is too short to not do the things you want to do! We can't put all of our plans on hold just because we're having a baby.

So we're just going for it!

Not handicapped... just pregnant

My biggest pregnancy pet peeve so far has been people asking,

"Are you still allowed to referee lacrosse now that your pregnant?"

I know they mean well and they're (hopefully) just looking out for my health and welfare. But really, why is that any of their business? Clearly I'm not going to purposely do something to harm my baby. A few have even gone so far as to ask what my doctor says about it. Uh, yes, I have talked to my midwife about it and that's between she and I, thanks. I didn't ask when your last colonoscopy was, did I?

Our society has this mentality that once you become pregnant, you are this fraile creature that needs extra protection (and closer parking spaces at the grocery store). It's pretty common sense, to me at least, that this is not true. There are pregnant marathon runners for goodness sake. 

Think back to the pioneer woman. Was she just lounging around in the cabin for 9 months while her husband did all the work? No way, jose! She was up doing chores until sundown. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, gardening, skinning animals & walking everywhere imagineable. Riding in a bumpy wagon to town to get calico cloth for Laura & Mary's Sunday dresses. Okay, I read the whole Laura Ingalls Wilder series when I was little. Pa's coon-skin cap didn't make itself! (They also got oranges in their Christmas stockings. Oh, the simplicity of it all!)

I wish I had the time to explain to every one of my uber-personal-question-askers that exercise is perfectly safe for healthy, pregnant women.. Generally the rule of thumb is, whatever you were doing BEFORE you got pregnant, you can continue doing throughout your pregnancy. In my case, this means sprinting up & down a lacrosse field 50+ times per game. Maybe this rule doesn't apply to downhill skiiers or cliff divers, but you get the idea.

I credit running for reducing my nausea & giving me lots of energy, when typically, the first trimester leaves you drained of energy. I would mainly feel tired on days I wasn't exercising. On a few occassions when I felt a bout of nausea coming on (usually right after work), I would quick lace up my running shoes & crank up the iPod tunes. Nausea gone!
It was pretty amazing.

[For some reason, I always think to take a belly pic before I go running.]

If people are questioning my exercise habits at 3 months when I'm not even showing, I can't wait to see the reactions I'll get this summer when I'm doing tournaments and going for jogs at the park at 5-6 months pregnant.

"Why don't ya take a picture, it'll last longer!"

(Pee Wee Herman)

Yes, Cravings are Real

Whenever we'd play the card game "Bullshit" my grandmother would always refuse to say that and call it "I doubt it." One of the awesome things I'll always remember about her. That, and the fact that she would let my cousin Kasie & I have homemade milkshakes before dinner. Grandma's are cool like that.

Whenever pregnant women would talk about their cravings, I always thought it was bullshit. I mean... I doubted it. I'm a big "gotta see it to believe it" kinda gal and my parents taught me to be skeptical about everything. I must say, it's served me well. Naturally, I thought the whole "craving" thing was an excuse for pregnant women to eat whatever they wanted.

It is so not an excuse.

Cravings are real, homie!

At about 6 weeks in, my nausea kicked in. I can't really complain about it because I was still eating a lot and it came & went throughout the day. It hit me hardest when it came time to do grocery shopping, when co-workers were heating up food in the break room and when I had to handle raw meat to prepare dinner. (My wonderful husband did that for me for a few weeks, thank goodness). For the next 3 weeks, what I wanted to eat at any given time was so ridiculously specific, it blew my mind. Dinner for me some nights was half a ball of fresh mozzarella cheese, a handful of stuffed olives, something really garlicky & lemon water. So random. However, I was glad I was eating and not barfing.

Then things got weirder.

I wanted peanut butter. ALL.THE.TIME.

I would sit at my desk at work (hoping no one would walk in my office) and eat peanut butter right out of the jar with a spoon. I must have gone through 3 jars in 3 weeks.

[My fav PB]

Sour gummy worms, starbursts, oreos, peanut butter ripple ice cream, lots of carbs, hot dogs, and basically anything else I hadn't eaten in 5 years.

We were on our way to Best Buy in DE one day and we passed Jimmy John's (this amazing hot dog place that's famous in our town) and all I could think about for the next hour or so was eating a Jimmy John's hot dog with sauerkraut. It consumed my every thought.

[Yes, we stopped & I got my hot dog :-)]

Forget grocery shopping with a list. I followed my nose. Either I wanted something SO BAD or it made me want to vomit.  And then after week 9, this crazyness slowly ended and I got back on track with my usual diet. I must admit, it was fun while it lasted.

I now understand why Natalie Portman gave up on Veganism during her pregnancy.

Growing a Person

I love the phrase "growing a person," coined by my sister-in-law, Amy.
It's so literal.

Saying "I'm pregnant" brings up a lot of negative connotations and it still makes me feel like I'm in high school and my mom is going to kick me out of the house when she finds out.

Saying "I'm expecting" is too vague and makes it seem like nothing is currently happening... when in reality... a lot is happening in there. More than I can even wrap my mind around at times. (Cue hormonal crying...)
And then there's the old phrase which my Mom whipped out the other day, "I'm in a family way." Did people actually used to say that?

Finding out I'm having a baby was one of the most insanely indescribable moments in my life. I could not comprehend what was happening or how I felt about it.

I wasn't overjoyed, but I wasn't mad or sad either... and then I started laughing. It was the oddest mix of emotions. I mean, we weren't that shocked. We clearly know how babies are made. But I was still in disbelief for a long time.
Mainly because I didn't feel any terrible symptoms that most pregnant women tell horror stories about. I just felt slightly...  different.

If I hadn't seen those 2 pink lines on 5 (yes, 5) pregnancy tests, I probably would have just thought I wasn't eating right or coming down with a cold.

After letting it all sink in, we both feel extremely blessed and delighted at this new life we've created. Life is precious, and we're doing all we can to protect it & give it the best environment possible (hence the move into a house).

The best part was not telling people... and I am usually the worst secret-keeper.

My husband and I had this awesome, mind-blowing secret that we would whisper about when we were together. We'd be out at the bar and I'd covertly order just a cranberry juice and everyone else thought I was getting wasted on cranberry juice & vodkas all night. We'd just give each other this "look" and then carry on keeping our secret and acting like everything was normal.

I've gotta admit, lying to people was pretty fun!

Now our secret is out, which is also pretty exciting and a bit of a relief.

We're ready to be bombarded with questions & advice for the next 6 months.

(However, if you have any terrible birth stories up your sleeve, I'd honestly rather not hear about them.  Obviously things can go wrong, but I don't want the thought of them to weigh me down for the next 2 trimesters. Thank you kindly!)


[What our little one is up to right now]



Here are a few tid bits about our human being in-utero
and his/her anxious parents:

- I'm currently 13 weeks pregnant & our date date is November 7th, 2011.

- We're seeing a certified nurse midwife for prenatal care and planning on delivering at the Bryn Mawr Birth Center with the assistance of certified nurse midwives and no pain meds available. (Am I insane? Maybe. Don't bother trying to change my mind, it's already made up. I think.)

- I've had a range of mild pregnancy symptoms during the first 3 months, but nothing to complain about. I consider myself very lucky.

- According to the Chinese Birth Chart, we're having a boy (it's pretty accurate, but not 100%). A boy would be awesome, but so would a girl!

- We'll have a 10-year-old by the time we're 37 (and probably a sibling or 2!)

- Fact: you can get pregnant the first try (or even if you're not trying).
- We're not getting a minivan... ever. (Honda Pilot, holla!)

- I've been running & refereeing lacrosse for the past 3 years and plan on doing so through the summer. Got the official OK on that from our midwife and exercising makes me feel AMAZING.

- Aside from my husband, Jackie Giordano & Devon Wisneski were the first to know. P.S. It's your turn, ladies ;-)

- This will be the first grandchild for Tim's parents and lucky number 7 for mine.

- Only Tim and I can tell that I'm showing. It's the first time I've ever had a gut. I have to unbutton my pants when I sit down. It's weird.
- We'll only be getting 1 ultrasound at 20 weeks and yes, we're finding out the gender, if possible.

- We have a few names in mind, gotta keep something a secret though!

I could go on & on... but that is the essential information you're probably wondering about. And maybe you don't care... that's fine. I really didn't care about pregnancy & babies until my nieces started being born. I still look at children I don't know with a disgusted look on my face, but that doesn't worry me. I'm ready for my clothes, furniture, sleep habits & social life to be completely wrecked by my sweet little babe.

Brrrrrring it, motherhood!