negative nellies

Debbie Downer, Negative Nelly, Pessimistic Pete... whatever you want to call them, they're super annoying and unfortunately don't just exist in Saturday Night Live skits.

I've come across so many people like this recently and they're each unique in their negativism. Let's discuss.

Whomp whommmmmmmmp

First there's the person who repeats all the negative things they saw in the news that day. We all see the news, it's mostly terrible, I don't need to hear about it again and how one time, the same thing happened to your neighbor's boss. Ex) "Did you see in the news about the guy who murdered his girlfriend and then killed himself? That's so awful." Hey, top 'o the morning to you too. Thanks for sharing that with me at 8:30 am on a Monday. My week is now off to a great start...

Second, let's explore the negative chain e-mail forwarder. Ex) Subject Line: LADIES, URGENT! READ THIS IMMEDIATELY! Body of E-mail: "There's a new wave of criminals who disguise themselves as mail carriers and they then gain access to your mailboxes, find out your personal information, steal your identity and then murder you so the police can't identify your body!" Yes, there are evil people in this world. Our mothers taught us to keep our heads on a swivel, carry mace & be cautious at night, especially when driving. Women are inferior, weak creatures who need the protection of a man and shouldn't go out after dark without fearing the worst. However, there is probably a better chance of getting hit by a car crossing the street than becoming the victim of a serial killer. How about an e-mail about the dangers of jay-walking? That would be a lot more relevant and handy, don't you think?

Third, let's talk about the "unrealistic fear" guy or gal. We received a super cool digital crock pot as a wedding gift. I tell a co-worker about this neat gift and she starts going off about how she's heard that crock pots start house fires and that's why she will only cook with one while she's home (nevermind that this completely defeats the purpose of a crock pot). Okay, maybe someone left their Crock Pot on for 24 hours and it burnt their countertop... but a full on house fire? Once again, this is a case of "it's probably more likely that you'll die of the bird flu than have your house burned down by a crock pot." This same co-worker also unplugs every appliance, lamp, electrical device, etc. before leaving the house. I guesstimate that they've probably spent a total of 1 year of their life JUST unplugging and replugging electrical cords. Looney tunes if you ask me.

So to all the Debbies, Nellies & Petes out there... for the sake of Christmas and this most joyous holiday season... give everyone a freaking break, will ya?!