Mr. Hall: Cher Horowitz? Two tardies.
Cher: I object! Do you recall the dates of these alleged "tardies"?
|[Said you gave him a toothache.]|
Yes, yes, it's Friday. But I'm gonna do awkward & awesome's anyways.
Because I can.
- Starting off the day with a belt cinching my waist... then having to loosen said belt hours later after stuffing my face at the work luncheon.
- Opening my paycheck at my desk and having the CEO walk in as I'm looking at it. He clearly knows how much I'm making... but situations involving other people knowing your income just weird me out.
- Getting a thank you for a thank you. No, I'm thanking YOU. You don't have to thank ME for thanking YOU or we're gonna be here all day.
- Overhearing my boss say things like, "Oh, if that were the case, I'd have been all over it like stink on poop" and other ridiculous sayings of that nature.
- When I sneeze (for no particular reason) and someone near me says, "Stay away from me! I can't get sick!" Dude, not every sneeze is the indication of a communicable disease. Relax.
- A co-worker asking me if I know what a tickler is. Umm, thank goodness I played dumb & said no because she was clearly not talking about the same thing that I was thinking. Turns out she was referring to some old fashioned method of keeping track of upcoming events on your calendar. Now it's called Microsoft Outlook. Catch up. And never say tickler aloud ever again.
- People at the grocery store holding social hour instead of shopping. I don't care that your husband's mother is almost out of rehab for breaking her hip. You're blocking the cannellini beans.
- The word "hoarder."
- Making a simple, friendly comment to someone and having them turn it around into an awkward & depressing story about their life. Now I know that my co-worker wears sneakers in the winter because she had frostbite on her feet as a child. Not so she doesn't slip on ice in the parking lot. Got it.
- I made three new recipes this week. THREE.
- It's Girl Scout Cookie season. And my niece is selling them. My whole foods diet is gonna have to take a chill pill until we finish these boxes.
- The City of Philadelphia finally arrested this scumbag. And that is putting it nicely.
(Warning: don't read unless you want to be seriously disturbed)
- Opening my paycheck and having it be more than I expected. Happy Friday, indeed!
- My husband's way with children. He is so sweet with our nieces. Makes me want to have kids. Someday...
- Receiving a kind & delicious thank-you gift for a job well done. I will create binders of commercial agreements for you any day, sir!
- The fact that the sun decided to make an appearance for the past few days. I've missed you old buddy old pal.
- We'll be in MIAMI next Friday. For three glorious days of sunshine and temps in the mid to high 70's. I can't wait to wear my new Victoria's Secret resort duds! Pictures will be posted. Obviously.
I hope you all have a lovely weekend!
And thank you for reading. You rock.